Getting (Re-) Started

One of the most discouraging things about moving to Denmark was the feeling of "starting over."

At the time we decided to leave the United States, we were set up pretty well. We owned a home that I bought in 2012 at a low interest rate. We had two reliable vehicles. We didn't really have to think about money very often because we weren't living paycheck to paycheck, and, other than the house and my ridiculous student loans, we were debt-free! We had a nice little savings account, and we were prepared financially in the event of disability or death.

We weren't rich, but we were comfy and cozy.

That comfort didn't happen overnight, ya know? It took us more than a decade to get to that point. It was the result of tight budgeting, years of earning extra merit raises and promotions and bonuses, difficult choices to invest responsibly in our future instead of our present, DIY elbow grease, and more than a few nights of grilled cheese and tomato soup dinners.

In moving to Denmark, it kind of felt like we leveled up in the game but lost all of our inventory in the process.

Of course, we know that's not true. We own a practical vehicle and my student loan debt has been paid. We are debt free, we have good jobs, we are still set up well in the event of disability or death, and we rent a lovely home. Though the rent is over $1000 more than our mortage used to be and the cost of living is very high, our kids are clothed, their glasses have the correct prescription lenses, and we eat healthy, well-balanced meals.

I guess the whole "starting over" feeling really stems from the fact that we don't own a home here.

The housing market has gone wild in Denmark, similar to the U.S., with home prices being at a record high and many young people wondering if they can afford to live on their own. Clearly, this problem is not country-specific. It's just hard to imagine that buying a good home for our family will now cost over twice what we used to pay!

Source: Finans Danmark

We make more money now than we did 12 years ago, but so much of that will go toward a house that financially, it feels a lot like it did in 2012.

The difference is that in 2012, it felt like I had my whole life ahead of me, and I was going from having nothing to having something, so it was exciting and grown-up to be building a foundation for all that was to come. It felt like arriving at the beach and starting on an epic sandcastle, knowing I'd still have a ton of time after I finish to play in the ocean and lay in the sun and decorate my castle with little pieces of sea glass and shells.

Starting.

* * *

Now, Zac and I are 40 years old (± 2 years). At this juncture, it feels more like we were almost done building our epic sandcastle, but then a really good sandcastle location opened up further down the beach and we decided to give our castle to some other kids, take the good spot down the beach, and start building a new sandcastle from scratch. When we're done, we'll still have a little time to play in the water and lay in the sun, but not quite as much time, and we'll probably be a lot more tired.

Starting over.

Alas and alack, amiright? It was our choice to move, we knew what we were giving up, and we do not regret the decision, but it can be discouraging to have to summon the energy to do the hard parts all over again.

* * *

I'd hate for you to walk away from this short post thinking the whole thing was melancholy, so to wrap it up, I'll say:

Despite how hard it can be to find the energy to "start over" amid the jobs and the kids' sports and the Danish lessons and the homework and the daily effort it takes just to exist as an immigrant where the primary language is not your own...

...we are making an offer on a Danish house later this week!